Hello reader, my name is James Atafu and with myself, I bring to you a wonderful blog TheEnthusiast. Striving to bring you a seemingly endless supply of knowledge ranging from success, experience, idea’s, travel, culture and so much more, to the comfort of your screen here today i wish to bring to you a compelling blog regarding topics that would be considered what we as human being strives for in our everyday lives, success & opportunity, Inspiration, and mindfulness I want to bring to you all that so I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to share with you my stories and thoughts.
Country of Birth: New Zealand, Birthplace: Manurewa, Auckland
Zodiac Sign: Taurus Passion: Poetry, writing, fitness, english literature, music.
My story isn’t an easy one… But I’m sure no one’s story is .. but here we go, just so you can get to know me better 🙂
I was born in a small but rough suburb by the name of ‘Manurewa’, ‘Auckland’ within New Zealand. I was born with a hole in my heart, sometimes I don’t even know why or how I’m still here today, now I know i’m not the only one who was born with a heart murmur, however, I was home birthed, in a bathtub (i know, I was put in with warm water in a big plastic tub like bowl), on a very cold night, my father was absent at the moment (I don’t know where he was) and my mothers sisters (my aunties), my grandparents and my sister were there to witness my birthing.
My sister grew up with my grandparents and was raised by our aunties and my mother raised me on her own.
Now .. Growing up wasn’t easy for me, now I know again nothing is easy for anyone but I had to work extra hard compared to my peers because I had a delayed upbringing due to my murmur I lacked the fundamental social skills that many of my peers possessed, I couldn’t write properly as my mother had to teach me how to use a pencil and it was challenging .. however with challenges comes strengths, as I was physically lacking I had a high aptitude for learning, I would think a lot harder and faster and I developed proper mannerisms unlike my peers back then. Although I was clever my motor skills weren’t on par, my writing speed wasn’t up to standard and I was ashamed because of so, I often wonder that if I could write properly, imagine how better my life could’ve been, I could’ve gone so far yet, I suppose everything happens for a reason right ? But you know we often wonder .. I mean I could’ve attained scholarships galore if my writing speed were up to par but .. alas it wasn’t so I fell behind or rather not behind but I couldn’t my utmost potential because of such obstacles and hindrances.
Along with being incapable of holding a pencil correctly, I was physically ailed by growing pains, an inability to run properly because of said growth pains, I was skinny but by no means was a considered weak, however again I couldn’t live up to my full potential because of said ailments.
While growing up at school whenever there were P.E (Physical Education) classes I would try to get out of them or mum would write notes, however most recently I regret doing so as what I could’ve gained would’ve outweighed the shame that I felt back then whenever I ran and the kids would laugh at me or I would feel bad because I wasn’t as physically capable as the other children, thus I would end up in tears.
The rest of the family and my mother had a kind of weird and distilled relationship, it wasn’t rock solid but it wasn’t unstable either it was just .. there and as there was tension especially with one aunt as one morning she said something to me that made me cry and she was pulling hard on the hair straightener while my sister was straightening her hair (we were young), my mother walked in and saw us, a fight broke out and my mother was kicked out of the house (at the time my mother and I were staying in a small camper van on the lawn within my grandparents property, now I had the choice of whether to stay at my grandparents or go with her, of course, I still the latter, wouldn’t you?:)
anyway, as time grew my mother’s health started to decline as both she and I were sick, mum had terminal illnesses though however, she worked nonetheless, she has several illnesses such as lupus, epilepsy, sjogrens and like 5 more. I had to change to several schools as money grew tight and the relationship between family members and areas grew more distant and harsh so I was constantly alone as I didn’t grow up with any long lasting friends or anyone that I was familiar with for long (even up to this day I find it difficult to get acquainted with people outside my family), I was constantly misunderstood and I was very anxious and somewhat depressed, I was scared to go out by myself and I would often get bullied by other kids.
when I was around 13 or 14 my mother had developed cancer so she had to go on chemotherapy for a couple months so for a few months into her chemotherapy I ended up staying at my grandparents house, having them providing me accommodation and a school for which I could attend, it was weird because it took some time for me to feel fit in and even then I didn’t feel complete, I grew up with a loss of identity, not feeling like I belonged anywhere, I struggled with the social scheme of thing’s. My grandparents were most kind to me though as they treated me like their very own son (I know I’m their grandson lol) but the aunt that I mentioned that had the tension with mum lived their as well, she was alright but was a bit of a bummer at first, gave me a hard time but slowly warmed up to me, she was more so the caretaker of the grandparents house as well as their caregiver, my uncle had moved in and his son’s (around 7 years younger than i) came around every fortnight which was not to my aunt’s liking.
As I mentioned I lacked the fundamental social skills as my peers had you would often find me talking to myself around school (I know I was very weird) and then this boy (who ended up to be one of two of my best mates for life) approached me and started talking to me (I think he felt sorry for me haha), anyway he was nice I was nice and we became good friends thereon, over the course of my schooling I met people that I lost, hated, distrusted, made really good friends and overall this was the school that I remained the longest without changing and was my last school ultimately being my favorite as I experienced many things’s here.
As from my schooling I furthered my study into tertiary by attending an institution by the name of ‘Techtorium’ and from there I gained my diploma in computer engineering, i remained at my grandparents however at the time my mother was out on the road and on another island trying to get by as such, many things happened during the time but she got into an abusive relationship with a guy who wasn’t entirely there though he did have a good heart (You know how woman are, in most cases they go for the bad boy). After I gained my diploma soon my mother had returned and with her ‘boyfriend’ but that didn’t last long, my grandmother wanted my uncle out of the house and so they got a house within the ‘ghetto’ area, the house got broken into and so forth, fast forwarding to this day I have suffered heartache, I have endured through tremendous turmoils (including those that were not mentioned), I’ve been through suicidal tendencies, deep depression but I stand here today with the power to shape my future and so do you also have the power to shape your future to 🙂
So … What is this blog about ..
The Enthusiast Online strives to bring you a compelling story as well as content over a wide area of topics as well as just being an outlet for me to express myself, I have found passion in this blog and I have hopes of turning it into a full-time job.